Love and loss
The day before yesterday, I handed my dog of to his new owners. I have been preparing for it for a month, but it still feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.
The past month I've been purposely avoiding seeing him too much, and I think it has helped a little, since I'm used to not having him around. The last day I had him the sun was shining and we played all day and I got to take some photos to remember him by. He slept separately in the kitchen from us, but he took it really nice and didn't complain much.
Doing the long drive over to Copenhagen (4 hours away) Archie laid in my lap most of the way. The new owner is really sweet and she is nice enough to keep me updated with pictures and other things, and it sounds like he's doing really well. He has his own bed in their bedroom, and she has taken time of from work to be home with him for a couple of days.
Archie got me through some really rough times, and he saved me from myself when i was at my worst. I think I could have done a lot more for him while I had him, but he never complained and just loved me no matter what :´)
But I think I've made the right decision, even though so many people second guess it.
It makes me sad when they do that, cuz I can't afford to second guess the decision. It would destroy me if i suddenly felt I had made a mistake.
Jesper is a great support through all of this, but of course no words can take away the blazing pain.
I'm deliberately avoiding drinking, since I'm still so sad.
Today at least I didn't wake up crying, but I was just so depressed this morning so I could hardly get out of bed.
Tomorrow I'll begin my new job at the elder care center. I'm a little nervous, since I didn't have such a great experience the last time, and I'm kinda vulnerable right now. But as long as i have Jesper, my world will stay up.. love you hon
I'll try to write more, but I feel such an intense sadness when i focus on Archie right now, that I don't like doing it to much.
^Maria
The past month I've been purposely avoiding seeing him too much, and I think it has helped a little, since I'm used to not having him around. The last day I had him the sun was shining and we played all day and I got to take some photos to remember him by. He slept separately in the kitchen from us, but he took it really nice and didn't complain much.
Doing the long drive over to Copenhagen (4 hours away) Archie laid in my lap most of the way. The new owner is really sweet and she is nice enough to keep me updated with pictures and other things, and it sounds like he's doing really well. He has his own bed in their bedroom, and she has taken time of from work to be home with him for a couple of days.
Archie got me through some really rough times, and he saved me from myself when i was at my worst. I think I could have done a lot more for him while I had him, but he never complained and just loved me no matter what :´)
But I think I've made the right decision, even though so many people second guess it.
It makes me sad when they do that, cuz I can't afford to second guess the decision. It would destroy me if i suddenly felt I had made a mistake.
Jesper is a great support through all of this, but of course no words can take away the blazing pain.
I'm deliberately avoiding drinking, since I'm still so sad.
Today at least I didn't wake up crying, but I was just so depressed this morning so I could hardly get out of bed.
Tomorrow I'll begin my new job at the elder care center. I'm a little nervous, since I didn't have such a great experience the last time, and I'm kinda vulnerable right now. But as long as i have Jesper, my world will stay up.. love you hon
I'll try to write more, but I feel such an intense sadness when i focus on Archie right now, that I don't like doing it to much.
^Maria
