what i would have said

Jesper... god i miss you. had a dream a couple of days ago. I was at a party at your apartment, but there was cobweb everywhere with giant spiders. i had to duck through the doorway to avoid the webs. i really don't know what this is supposed to mean, but i guess it's because there are something holding me from seeing him and its so long ago, hehe a psychic would have a field day with me. any whoo i feel i have come a long way with the afraid of people thing. i now know all my neighbors (besides one) like a friend. unfortunately my health is now bailing on my. the longterm stress shows in my bloodwork and i have to have new tests :( i have come to the realization (except for those days i'm really weak) that i have a right to be angry. i'm irritated when people don't respect me, and only now do i feel like i don't have to justify being angry. before when i was angry i'd just look for an outlet an create a fight or be self destructive. I still feel though, that i'm surrounded by morons and i'm watching a bad play. the anger is just there..